I had an interesting dream last night. I was helping my brother around town to complete odd jobs. I was programming and setting up security systems in houses, and my brother was doing something in line with that, dream logic after-all. I was using one of those little mppt controllers that you use on solar panel systems to wire things in for door locks, not sure if that is possible in reality but in the dreamscape is seems to be.
Once we got done working I was riding my bike to the next city over, when suddenly, my bicycle disappears and I have to walk the rest of the way. The rest of the way was a very far ways away, but suddenly, I was there and flabbergasted at how little time it took to get there. Well, then I realized I didn’t have my bag, so I had to walk back.
This is the weirdest part, on the way back, I was running, because since it was so short the first time, I figured it would be the same. After a minute or two of running, I was running on all fours too by the way, I wound up in some sort of concentration camp. Everyone else there seemed to be falling in line with what was happening, I wasn’t. I vehemently resisted and told them they were going to let me out, and eventually a guard pulled out his gun and shot me in the neck. I was bleeding out everywhere and I could physically feel the pain. I went to try and drink water and it ran red with blood. I then recomposed myself and cast some hand signs and stopped the bleeding. I noticed everyone had left the area I was in.
I had stabilized and grabbed my things and was about to make my escape from that place due to everyone having left but then in my tent site that I live in, the people all started screaming at this guy to get out of there. It really sucks cause the dream was just getting super intense and I really wanted to play out the escape from the camp. It’s nice to know even in a dream I would refuse to cooperate with evil. I really am super bummed out that I didn’t get to play out the escape scene though.
I never really have minded nightmares in general, usually when they happen I become semi-lucid and resist the evil. I have had dreams where I was being chased by demons before and I just conjure a sword and begin to kill them instead. Quite common honestly for me to take the reigns in nightmares and begin killing my oppressors. So I guess you could say I really enjoy having nightmares because they are just so dang fun.
I had some work lined up for today, but it disappeared on me just the same. My camp-mate was talking about something wildly outside his realm of his understanding and I refused to participate in the conversation, so I ignored him for the most part. He was then looking for a way to get back at me and blew up at me for saying “Oh Jesus Christ” in a relief as I had unburdened myself after dropping my heavy backpack. He said I was using the lords name in vain, I said “I’m not” he was like, oh so your just trying to piss me off now. Honestly what a narcissist, far from you are my thoughts, and this will be the only thing I ever write about you.
I have decided it is not wise to speak with him or his friends ever again. Only one of them is very good temperamentally, he can remove himself and think about a situation without losing control. One is just a narcissist and the other one tries to subdue everyone through violence or talking over them. The bad pair has tried manipulating me before as well. They were refusing to leave me alone and kept prodding me and I told them to leave me alone several times at the Salvation Army, so they started to tell people I was a schizo, I honestly should have known better than to trust them in any manner whatsoever.
Lesson learned, don’t affiliate with any other homeless people if you enjoy your peace and sanity. It honestly is much better this way because I spend my free time reading books and they were very much distracting me from getting into literature. I also notice, that around the camp it’s so much more chaotic, when I go near the homeless shelter things are so much more peaceful. I really don’t think those people have the best interest at heart for me at the camp. It’s really nice to have it put in perspective because the Faith Mission, the homeless shelter, is a faith based shelter, and I really do believe they are hoping and praying for peace all the time.
Yesterday was church day, and I brought one of them with me to try and ask people around if they might help him get a phone and id. We attended a class that was very insightful to me, and when I asked him about it, he said his mind was racing too much to pay attention to anything. Then we went to the main service, and he left near the end. Then he tried to entice me into talking badly about the service, and saying it was too theatrical and that it seemed like the pastor was attention seeking. This really irked me because we had just asked them for charity and in return he kind of just spit on them instead. That church has helped me out before, it is a Catholic church, I am a Protestant, and they have never made an issue with me nor I with them. I quite enjoy the theatrics because I can attend that service for them and any other denomination if I want a different experience. In my mind we are all connected to the body of Christ, regardless of denomination or tradition.
We went back to our tent site, which is behind a church as well, not sure what denomination they are but they say they follow the prophet Micah. Even at that church service he was being obnoxious in the back, talking loudly and over the Pastor who was giving her own sermon. She told them to quiet down and he left. Then the person he was talking to started watching tik tok videos in the middle of the sermon and during communion. It’s just piss poor behaviour I witnessed from all of them. Thusly I won’t do much at all to get to know them.
The timing is perfect because I was having a conversation with my aunt two days before and she mentioned that I shouldn’t hang out with people who are antithetic to Christian morality, and boy howdy if they didn’t expose themselves. They know the bible, but they don’t practice the things within it, everything is a pick and choose with them and I can’t affiliate with people that act that way and openly mock the church as they attend the service.
It’s really not a big deal though, I am used to being alone, and I prefer to be alone. Better to be alone than with a contentious wife it says, and a friend just as easily becomes an enemy. Not sure why they even care to be a part of my life, I don’t care to be a part of theirs. Really they have no reason to try and affiliate with me at all, especially when I have told them that we are not friends, I have barely known them for any span of time. Something is wrong with people where they think you just become best friends with someone immediately and don’t have to earn anyone’s trust, and that you should just forgive and forget the things they do and will do to you. I’ll forgive you, I won’t forget your behaviour, and I won’t affiliate with anti-christ type people.
I want to set up some extra websites to try and get a larger audience and be able to write about different things upon each so I can hit the right keyword indexing that’s inline with the domain name and the content style. Kinda limited on things I can write about on this one due to seo, so I asked my mom if she would be ok with helping me get two more vps setup, they only cost 2$ a month a piece but they’re so low spec I don’t think it could handle more than one domain and the software behind it at a time. Hopefully that pans out, I’ll have to renew my domains as well so I probably will just buy new domains since the lease is for a year and they cost me 1$ instead of the renewal which costs 25$ a year.
I think the reason these people get mad is because of unrequited love which is something narcissists do in general, I won’t affiliate with rapists that get mad you won’t affiliate with them no matter how much they beg and plead or whatever shitty behaviour they exhibit. You gotta really feel for women, and it’s no wonder most of them keep to themselves, they wind up with schizo stalkers who won’t stop harassing them because they have delusional beliefs about what they would get out of a relationship with someone else. Just a bunch of users, that’s not love, that’s selfishness.
Leave a Reply