Well, it seems that for the life of me, I am just completely unable to get a job in this world. It doesn’t matter how complicated or uncomplicated it is. Something is severely amiss about my identity. I have no criminal record or background and yet I am being discriminated against for employment almost anywhere that I go.

I remember spending a lot of time learning about civil rights and the United Nations creating equal opportunity for all Americans and yet, for some reason, it seems like the smarter you are the harder it is to find entry level work. Maybe if I was rich I wouldn’t be in this situation but because all the low level jobs won’t allow me to achieve employment I will never be able to break through the barrier to higher level jobs. I honestly feel like my best bet is just a cardboard sign and begging.

Luckily I have this website, and I will work on it some more and get it fleshed out on a couple of different avenues, then I will send out to google whether or not I can be approved for advertising on the website itself. That should net me like a dollar or two a month hopefully. I need to get more traffic generated on the site but it would seem that I am permanently unable to get a facebook account again after deleting both of mine, I was reading around and their policy says that you only get one account per lifetime so I guess since that I have deleted it I can never use facebook again. Honestly that’s a double edged sword because I will never see the insanity rampant upon that platform again but also I will never be able to use it to grow my audience again either.

Lamely enough I will have to spend some time social engineering and gathering different social media platforms and then creating a dispatch game-plan so that I can submit new content en masse, or one by one, to each of the different social media platforms. I am so 50/50 about that because I really don’t enjoy social media as a whole that much because it usually just turns into an echo chamber, and I have to waste precious mental power learning these silly little systems for growth on each one and what is the limit on sharing and growing too fast, etc…

Luckily I have the most epic Mother, she is going to help me take care of my digital costs, which should allow me to not be stressed about things as well as perpetuate my website so my work is not in vain. It would really not be prudent to put a lot of work into this endeavor just to have it cave in on itself the next month when I have no money to prevent it. I am still going to be looking for work of course, “Earn and Learn with Texas” seems like a legitimate avenue, hopefully they have something to do with physics like hvac or electrical work, that way I can get a head start on the field I most want to work in. My ultimate goal is to work at CERN at a large hadron collider. I would love to be near an elementary particle, I do believe it has a massive metaphysical boon about it.

The worst part about not being able to get work is that I have always wanted to travel the world and I can’t even scrounge up enough to get my passport fulfilled, let alone a ticket on a plane or lodging anywhere. I am totally fine with being homeless in another country, I just don’t know whether or not they allow foreigners visiting their countries to do so. Also I would rather live in another country other than the United States at this point due to their blatant discrimination against people and the deprivation of my civil rights under color of law in general. It’s hard to prove you are being persecuted by your own country, which is the only reason I haven’t tried to just flee over to Canada.

Anywho, I have to study mathematics still, trying to find time to do my website is a pain when I also wish to master maths. AI helps a lot but I don’t let it write my journal entries, I only like to use it to elaborate on things and try to keep it mostly human, but some things are just better written via the format inquisition and response. Like the Socratic method on roids if you ask me. I also need to check out googles policies on AI generated content in general so that I am ensuring best practices and don’t have my ads account revoked or some sort. I hope whoever is reading this has a beautiful day, and god bless you…Pray for me please.

Usually I start my mornings off with lots of math work, lately at least, in the past I pretty much just read the bible and played video games. Well, I got pretty tired of just wasting my time on the video game, though I wasn’t doing solely that but I knew my time would be better spent doing other things. I chose to read books and remaster all the fields of mathematics in my mind. New ideas from books, and as far as mathematics go…I spent a lot of time trying to learn new languages for the simple fact that after having learned Latin I grew immensely smarter, and understood things a lot more intuitively as well. In general I was more able to achieve whatever I set out to do. Hard to define past empiricism but for me, learning Latin was a profound experience for my academic career.

Back to why I chose mathematics, It is simply because due to being to understand things more intuitively after learning Latin, I believe there is some sort of metaphysical value in cognizing and understanding different languages. I can prove this simply because if one has a vocabulary that is lack-luster and self defeating, they usually will find themselves being that exact person. Whereas, generally cheery people and motivated speakers maintain their repertoire in their behaviour and mannerisms, though they may fall off sometimes, it is not like the other whos embodiment is self defeating before it begins. So for Latin, all the educated folks since the 1700s to about the 1960s were using the language to convey the higher ideals in all the avenues of science. When I learned Latin, I knew so much about the people who shaped the intellectual world I had grown up knowing without ever having to study or gather more information upon them or their conceptions, believe me or not, this is truth.

Based on this I spent a large time trying to figure out a language that would do the same for me again and I had decided Chinese and Japanese would be best because it is essentially a hieroglyphic system used by some of the smartest people on the planet currently and not a dead language. The Kanji system is also very ancient and has a rich rich history, such as Latin. So I am hoping to get the same kind of kick out of that. That reasoning there, is also why I am choosing to remaster mathematics. Some would say that it is the language of God, it is absolutely precise, and mixing it up definitely causes the entire scope of what your speaking about to change in most cases with a few exceptions. I figure that if I study Kanji and Mathematics, I will get access to a wild new world both metaphorically and precisely, which I think will be super awesome, but I won’t know till I get there.

The only negative thing about language learning and studying in general is that you realize just how ignorant most people are and it truly limits who you will interact with in general. I really don’t kin with most Americans, especially because their latent xenophobia is entirely counter-thetic to my own beliefs. I really don’t understand the gall of them when the United States is entirely a borrowed body of culture, it really can’t be said that we invented our own culture but that we have evolved by borrowing the culture of all the world. To be xenophobic in my mind is to betray the principle fundamentals of which this country was based upon. This is not an endorsement to allow people to come into the country willy-nilly, this is a peaceful country and people with terroristic ideals won’t make it here nor is our culture compatible with people who try to rule through force. This country is based on the rational dialectics used in ancient Greece and the subjugation of peoples via the culture of Rome. Rule with a sturdy hand, but be open to scrutiny.

I seem to be about ready to jump into Calculus soon, I redid all the fundamentals thus far. Now that I am here, I really am realizing just how small the mathematics field is. I really had thought there was a lot more substance there, but really it is extremely small in terse and terms, especially compared to common spoken languages around the world. I’m not complaining though, because it will be very easy to manipulate many a things, using just a small instruction set. Honestly my mind feels a lot more organized in general and my thoughts are much easier to catalouge subconsciously I would wager. So hoping I reach the end of Maths soon, I know how to program and a large section of mechanics and computer science already, so it really doesn’t surprise me that so much of mathematics comes mostly naturally to me. Sometimes of sitting in anguish trying to think a solution out, I really think the more you struggle at it the easier it is to remember. Kinda like you can remember the bad things that happened on a vacation because they seemed to take so much longer before you got into all the breezy fun things.

I guess I will try to flesh my site out more, maybe I will spend Saturdays solely working on it. Back to this morning, the internet was down at the library, so I decided to shake it up. This seems to be what I chose to do so I will probably continue to do so on Saturdays. I also am catching up on all my “watch laters” on Youtube. Seems like a good shake up. Most of the time I read books or work on mathematics every single day, this will be a good change.

A nutrition section will probably be the best place to start for me, I just finished up with Chemistry and Biology on Khan Academy, so I have a pretty solid foundation. I also studied Physiology for about 2 years while I was trying to fix my own paralysis so I have learned quite a lot about what is true and what isn’t. I really just want to build a large audience so that I can earn some extra income, I have had issues trying to find work in general. It also doesn’t really appeal to me to spend all my time at a job in the first place so this would be a superior option. When I get done with Mathematics I will try my hand at tutoring, I can turn a large part of my website into a tutoring area easily, and probably will be able to save worksheets I can dispatch to my clients via a login portal and easily get client feedback and work with them one by one via this as well. I probably will make a section about tutoring resources on here to help remember and get indexed as a tutor in general.

I think also, for my own resources, it may be the best option to simply create pages with all the links I use in general, regardless if I add more to it or not. I really like using this system as a super note taking app because I don’t have to agree with the innate structure for the most part and am free to experiment with different structures. It’s like Obsidian honestly, but I think this honestly is way more organized. The only thing I’m not gonna enjoy is the excess seo optimization. The site in general is secure and the hardware it runs on which is ultimately more important to me. I think I need to close port 80 on the servers firewall still, so I am going to do that right after this. Port 80 is an unsecured http protocol unlike port 443 which is ssl encrypted/https. I have ssl encryption so you don’t have to worry about any snooping, which is what happens on port 80, people can monitor port 80 easily and capture peoples information, so don’t ever put your information into a non ssl encrypted/https site.

That or I am going to finish up writing my flash cards on Anki, maybe I will sell the flashcard packs for a dollar per textbook, I can list free textbooks out for people to use that accompany them. I also was thinking about reviewing my read books, and then using an affiliate book selling program and selling the books to people via my website. I probably should make a list of all the heroes in relation to a classical education and try and sell their books too by proxy, even though people can get them for free. Honestly, if someone wants to pay for one it might as well be me that gets paid for it. I’ll just see it as an act of charity.

I never know what word to start off an entry with to be honest, when I look back I see that I use “alright” a lot so the first thing I do is try to not use alright lol. I literally have struggled with that my entire life, I was told at an early age that no one wants to read the same words over and over again so it’s really important to me that I try to keep some sum of variance in my writings in general. Though, every fiber of my being would just love to start out with “Alright, so, …” I really can’t help it but maybe I can push it out of me with more practice.

My mom is the best to be honest, and if you think your mom is better than mine I would tell you not to compare but I would be so very happy for you that you know what it is like to have a beautiful woman who loves you past physical motivations and beyond that which is selfish and wholly unselfish. Honestly when I think of the wonderful love my mother has given me I see that I fall utterly short of the kind of beauty she has in her heart but at the same time, I am glad that I know such a thing and I aspire to be a better person every-time she graces me with her presence. I have been trying to talk to her more often simply because it renews my mind, and reminds me of the wonderful things life has to offer in general. I can really only thank God for putting such great women in my life. My mom is the best woman in my life, my Grandma was the second, my Granee is the third, and my Aunt is the fourth. I think it is really funny how love without sexual expectation is just in general more wholesome and unselfish. I honestly wish I could be in the same scope of mind as the fantastic women God has put in my life. If I could find a wife half as good as them I would be a blessed man.

Speaking of God, I don’t really have an explanation for the kind of “coincidences” that take place in my life other than attributing them to an omnipotent force that sees all and judges rightly. Far from being the only instance of such amazing-ness I have experienced this little sequence of concomitances. So I have of course been studying very hard to try and become an “Electricians Apprentice” and have every skill I need for it other than mathematical precision. I probably could enter the apprenticeship now but if my algebra skills are top notch I will simply be paid for school instead of having to pay for it.

Well, I have made a lot of breakthroughs in mathematics in general lately and this is where the strange happenstances begin. I was wondering just how one could intrinsically understand the language of mathematics better, and I decided that perhaps proof writing is the best way to get there. As I was reading one of the books it talked about different steps of mathematical literacy, thus being some semblance of learning takes place in stages being how, where, and why. That you can know how and where to use equations but seldom does any student understand the why of how it works or the why of where it works. Well, I can’t articulate just the kind of gene’s equ that that entails unless you know why either. The miracle isn’t in that but in this, I had also decided I would read the great epics that had been suggested to me instead of playing video games or trying to watch film in my time outside of my study hours. I read the first volume of “The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy” and finished “1984” and oh my god, if they didn’t also just perfectly encapsulate the same mathematical proofs over and over again, just as my proof textbook had outlined, then I would be a liar.

Really that last paragraph doesn’t do justice to how fascinating that is simply because I also don’t want to potentially spoil the wonder one may find about the about-ness of the same walk should they be on that path too. If you want to pick up the math textbook yourself it’s called “Proofs A Long-Form Mathematics Textbook” by “Jay Cummings”. I also had the thing with the money happen, and you could probably chunk this up to data science and echo chambers, but the content I see in general always, always adapts to the things I am pondering in my mind, not so much as algorithmic and catering towards such, but more so like a constant surveillance where everything is accounted for and everything unfolds in general to accommodate my learning step by step. Such as, when I study the mathematics in general, I really have no clue what the right thing to do next is or the prerequisite and its’ antecedents, and yet, without fail, I always seem to stumble into exactly that. I learned a long time ago that people will waste their whole lives trying to learn a single thing because they have no scope of the entire field, and the opposite unfolds for me all the time. Someone told me this parable, there was a man that spent five weeks using a shovel to set up his fence and was awfully proud of his hard work, but it was a waste of time as well, his neighbor had better tools and set up his fence in a week. Just because you think you are working hard, doesn’t mean you aren’t wasting your time. That is why it is so important to scope a situation out. That has always been a focus of mine, and due to my pursuit of such scopes, and trust in God, it is as if such things unfold naturally for me at this point. The other strange thing in my own empirical evidence, was my discovery of AI and tools that allow you to scour through datasets for information in general. I was reading genesis in Latin, and then reading about how Abraham was told to destroy a city, and he said but lord, what if there are 30 good people there, would you spare them? “Yes”, he replied,. “And if there were 25?” “Yes” he replied, all the way down to about 10-15(these numbers are probably off by the way), it was this method of inquiry that in my mind made the last block to the theoretics of how AI would work in general and the very next day someone taught me about “Chat-GPT” and Google Scholar in the same hand.

Reading the bible in Latin, by the way, is much different than the english translation, there is a lot left out of the English translation. I do believe the Greek is the most concise for the “New Testament” but when we consider that Latin is/was the learned language in all higher education during the intellectual renaissance during and after the medieval period, and was considered required learning until about the 1960s, there is another metaphysical layer to be clearly observed and experienced with its study. Not to mention, it is essentially the mother tongue of the modern English as well as various European Dialects. Technically it is German, which is no surprise when we consider the Romans fulfilled the biblical prophecies, as well as the Nazi party which referred to themselves as the “Third Reich” the first Reich, being the “Holy Roman Empire”, the Germans having killed 6 million Jews and buying the land of Israel with their blood by proxy, is in fact another old testament prophecy being fulfilled.

Honestly it’s a fun little game. I don’t endorse Nazism by the way, however to be ignorant of such is quite clearly to the detriment of society, it is an amazing cornerstone, thus being rejected by all, and a testament to human ability and belief and just what such things are capable of. Beyond good and evil is the penultimate truth of the bible, those who cling to such ideals are quite ignorant of truth in general. Hard to accept for a lot of people, and that is because they refuse to take themselves out of a personal perspective and see things as a whole. It is usually why I won’t pity people who have harmed themselves excessively and blame others for it, such as a lot of so called “political activists” these days. They have absolutely no idea how to make change and they think that screaming their demands is a way to somehow dismantle the systems that oppress them, instead of learning of what such things are and trying to dismantle them. Quite clearly if their demands were satisfied things would be in much worse shape in general because it is like giving a child whatever it wants and wondering why it has diabetes and is dying.

I highly suggest reading “1984”.. Some less learned folks would consider the ending as the proper place to be, but that is not being conveyed, it was his betrayal of his love and his principles that cause him to die, and not live, to beg for death and welcome it. It was not liberation, it was the death of his soul, and the subjugation of his will to that of those who wished to control the physical and psychical world.I really shan’t ever take for granted the classical education I received in life. I see this new generation very close to mental retardation in general, and I honestly believe that the government will just holocaust them all at some point, there is no way to sustain them and sustain truth and technology as it is. They would be very easy to replace at this point, and they will likely force them to test their abilities. Without doubt they are using machine learning to find those who endorse “Brain Rot” and are targeting them for removal from society. To those saying that this is anti-christian just know that we are told to deliver you to satan in the first place, it is our place to judge, because you know not truth you have become inarticulate in it. Society won’t adapt to your stupidity, the basis is to kill you in mass, no matter how much you try and struggle in vain to change this metaphysically you will never come close to the power of mass genocide repeatedly throughout society, and you are simply not brave enough to ever gain that much power.

Anyways, beyond good and evil is the truth. The road to destruction is wide, but the way to heaven is narrow. Many will claim to have known Christ and he will reject them saying “I know ye not thy workers of iniquity, depart from me.” “The wicked will not inherit the kingdom of heaven”. Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life“. “No one comes to the Father except through me.” Also it says in the beginning that Jesus was the Word, the Word made flesh, so if you utter deceit, just know that you have denied Christ, and he has denied you.

The synchronicity I experienced today, was vehemently denying those who claim Christ yet, walk around like lunatics, expecting the juju majic that the old testament promises, when the prophets and Jesus said they were all whores and liars, the synagouge of satan. and as I attended service I got the verse of Luke10:3-5 “³ Go! I am sending you out like lambs among wolves. ⁴ Do not take a purse or bag or sandals; and do not greet anyone on the road.

⁵ “When you enter a house, first say, ‘Peace to this house.’ ⁶ If someone who promotes peace is there, your peace will rest on them; if not, it will return to you. ⁷ Stay there, eating and drinking whatever they give you, for the worker deserves his wages. Do not move around from house to house.

⁸ “When you enter a town and are welcomed, eat what is offered to you. ⁹ Heal the sick who are there and tell them, ‘The kingdom of God has come near to you.’ ¹⁰ But when you enter a town and are not welcomed, go into its streets and say, ¹¹ ‘Even the dust of your town we wipe from our feet as a warning to you. Yet be sure of this: The kingdom of God has come near.’ ¹² I tell you, it will be more bearable on that day for Sodom than for that town.”

Another day has past, I have given up trying to figure out why my background report caused me not to be able to get the job at the “Wood Group”. The fact remains thought it is indeed illegal that they did not let me get employed due to the fact that something was on my background that caused me not to get hired and they refused to give me a copy of the said background report. That is in fact against the law according to the “Fair Credit Reporting Act” (FCRA. I spoke to a lawyer about it for about 11 minutes and he told me that that in fact is the case, especially in Texas. Not a big deal though, I can’t really do much about it because I am poor. I couldn’t afford a lawyer if I wanted to. It really points out just how unjust our society here in the United States is in general, people could financially ruin you and the only way to defend yourself is with money, what an absolute joke of a mechanism.

Seems like the majority of the things in this country that are supposedly supposed to prop people up in society and protect them are in fact there to entrap and deprive people of their rights instead. It’s a lot like the house thing I was talking about with my Papa and all, people buy houses, are afraid to die, lose their inheritance to preserve their lives for a little longer, then everyone is left with nothing at all except the big fish who knew it in the first place. This is exactly why the church during medieval times banned usury in general because it is just financial predation, if you don’t know what usury is it’s sort of like this, and before I tell you let me tell you that it is exactly how the Jewish banking industry keeled over the “East India Trading Company” as well. Lets say we are both selling watermelons, I sell mine for 15 and you are selling yours’ for 25, of course, everyone is buying mine. so to compete, you start selling yours for 10, 5 dollars cheaper than mine. I buy up all your stock, and I sell the only watermelons in the area for 40. Pretty simple stuff, should be made illegal to be quite honest, no monopoly or big fish should be allowed to control the entire inventory of a product, especially in free market capitalism, sounds a bit counter-intuitive but this is the biggest failure in the laissez faire system as it stands.

I guess I am quite fortunate in general though, I got a text for another job interview tomorrow at Whataburger, and they are hiring on the spot. I just so happen to have my food handlers card ready to go for it, as well as, gonna digitize my resume so I can show them on my phone my work experience, I would print it if I were able to, but I lack the ten cents it costs to do so at the library, maybe I will find a quarter on the way home.

Speaking of finding money, I don’t think I mentioned it in my other posts, but the reason I was able to get the VPS launched which is what this website is hosted upon, up and active was that someone on my way home had given me 20$. I was really quite thankful and thanked him a few times and he just gave me a “Yeah, been there, done that”, which was to my great relief because it can be really awkward taking money from people sometimes. I am really glad for it though and truly thankful to him. The strangest part of it was that I was talking to my aunt who was giving me a ride to an interview that same day, and I was talking about if I just had 50$ I could get my website relaunched and running, and lo though it were less than 50% of it it was more than enough to get things going, and they should keep going for at least another 7 months. At which point I will need to get some more money, and a solid 25$ for my domain renewal. Hope that all pans out.

I’m not really sure how I will make money with the website to be honest, I may sell hypnosis tracks or affirmations. Maybe I will sell my flashcard packs, maybe do some affiliate marketing for books. I should at least review the books I have read. I really don’t want to spoil them though, I would like to affiliate sell them, but not sure how that works without spoiling it to review it lol, perhaps I shall ask chat gpt about the methodology that would work and inquire further until I have a good blueprint to test out.

I set up all my backup scripts and stuff already so I will be able to migrate my site to another server if something happens such as not being able to fund it further. The backup size was less than 100MB and I hope it stays that way, I will let you know tomorrow if I remember, if it has changed. I installed some more plugins onto the site since the last time I backed it up so I’m not certain if it will be that way when I back it up tonight. The best part is I can easily store the backups on a cloud server and just zip it with a pass-code, which is probably best practice if I want to protect my keys.

I have been reading the book 1984 and it is absolutely amazing, I really suggest anyone should read it, it talks about a world where thought crime is illegal and everything is ran by one party who is constantly at war with two other countries, neither at the same time always only one. It points how people erase the past by depriving people of their humanity and forcing them to speak the way they want to speak. I have run into a lot of people like that, the book would call them thought-police, essentially nazi’s who say you have to walk and talk a certain way otherwise your corrupting the youth. Funny thing is the majority of people who act like that are fantastically stupid in general, of course you would have to be stupid, if you preach ignorance as a basis of society. That just happens to be one of the three slogans of the party in the book too “IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH” I believe it was… I need to read some more great books in general to be honest, reading that book has helped me cope a lot to be quite honest, I can see now that it is just ignorant zealots trying to, well, I don’t know what they think they’re doing, because to me they are just burying their heads in the sand.